Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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