DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
