did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
