everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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