i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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