I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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