Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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