Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize