You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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