So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
