let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
