And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
