I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
