I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
