I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
