Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My bed smells like the plague
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
