This dress was meant to end up on your floor
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
