After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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