no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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