Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize