he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
