I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The power of my boobs compel you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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