bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
