just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
