I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
