I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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