I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
