He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
