You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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