NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
