What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize