belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I look better un-naked...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
