My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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