Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
