Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
