I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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