that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
4 words: hood of his car
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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