party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
