How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
