theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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