It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
