I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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