And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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