Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
