yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
