i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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