Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
