very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
