you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
