my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
