Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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