Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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