I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
