Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
