he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I looked at my own cervix.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
