if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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