I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
