You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize