Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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