i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
