i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize